Sentimental

Watch out. Krista's feeling all sentimental and stuff.

It's true. I'm feeling all sentimental tonight. Not sure why.

Maybe it's because I sat and watched my boys sleep for a long time tonight. Thinking about what miracles they are. What good spirits they have. How fast they are growing up. How I love nothing more than to see a smile light up those little faces.

Or maybe it is because I'm missing my sweet husband while he is out serving others--and yet realizing, I wouldn't want it any other way. Knowing that he is so attuned to the Spirit and so willing to serve anybody, anytime.

Or maybe it's because I haven't seen extended family for so long and I was thinking about how much I miss them and how blessed I am to have them in my life. Even so far away.

I'm just plain feeling sentimental. Reminiscing on good times.

I miss backyard soccer, volleyball, badminton and board games galore. Why was I so anxious to grow up?

I miss our first tiny apartment when we were first married where we had no money to do anything but play board games or throw an old comforter out on the floor and cuddle and watch a movie on our tiny tv. Why was I so anxious for a better job and a bigger apartment?

I miss our USU days of Big Mac Mondays, Dr. Mario nights, Sunday dinners with the family, the best friends ever! and laying by the pool baking for hours. Why was I so anxious for a "real" job and a house?

I miss the laughs and giggles and time spent talking with just the four of us that happened while driving Chris to and from work when my car wasn't working for several months and we didn't want to invest the money yet to fix it because of the job situation. Why was I so anxious to get my car fixed?

I'm done being anxious. I don't want to be anymore. I love my life. All the craziness included.

I love my Carson. I love that he just stops what he's doing and will come over to me or Chris or Caleb and give us a big hug, kisses, and lay his head on us for a minute and then he's off to his next adventure.

I love my Caleb. I love the hilarious stuff he is always saying and doing. I love his crazy energy. I love how he will just turn to me and say, "I love you, mom! You are the best mom!"

I love my Chris. I love that he can always make me laugh. I love how hard he works at everything. I love his hugs. I love his homemade bread. I love his faith.

I've talked lately with so many people who are so anxious for the next phase of life. So many who are so annoyed at their spouse or kids. So many who are just not happy lately.

I feel so sad for them. I just want to shout, "Please! Just go and love them!!!"

Instead of nodding and listening...I wish I would have asked instead:

Why do we waste so much time being upset and angry and impatient with those we love?

Why can't we just love people for who they are instead of being upset about what they aren't?

Why do we spend so much time making our homes spotless when we are giving up time for those that matter most to accomplish it?

Why are we so anxious for this or that to be over?

Such a waste of precious time and energy.

I truly believe life is what you make of it.

Life is so short.

So so short.

Why can't we just squeeze them more? Just laugh more? Just enjoy life?

I don't know anyone whose life is exactly the way they want it. I don't know anyone that has no worries and no problems to deal with. There are always going to be uncomfortable things in our life...we really just have to learn to deal with it and find a way to enjoy it!

That's what I wish I would have told my friends. That's what I hope to tell myself next time I feel like I'm having one of those days.

I love this article: Come What May, and Love It!